Let's Get Weird
awwww-cute:

Now you’re under my control dog. The next target is people

awwww-cute:

Now you’re under my control dog. The next target is people

the-sarcastic-robot:

drugs-in-ur-coffee:

selfish-cunts:

dqdbpb:

angelina jolie’s daughter

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and gwen stefani’s son

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both so cute 

Parenting done right

ugh. this is so wrong. how can you support someone letting their kid wear socks on grass. do you know how hard it is to wash those stains out?

I thought I was going to have to yell at someone for being a close minded asswipe but that was the biggest plot twist of my life. 

sexual cravings often lead to unforgettable mistakes but those are sins i can live with.
overlyxclusive (via kushandwizdom)
When our breasts arrived
as a kind of currency, we’d tug
our camisoles low, use
our newfangled bodies to haggle
with the ice cream man. The winner
was the girl who received her chocolate cone
for free, who sucked on candy cigarettes
the same way she wore a training bra.
That summer my pockets grew forests
of hand-tied maraschino cherry stems:
tampered evidence that I might one day be worthy
of kissing. In exchange for rides
on the handlebars of their bikes,
we’d let the boys bite
the beads off our candy
necklaces until the chokers
resembled punched out teeth.
From their slobber, blue and violet
stained my throat where the sweetness
had once been, so I suppose,
Your Honor, I was preparing
for him.

Megan Falley "Beginning in an Ice Cream Truck
and Ending in a Court Room”
(after Kim Addonizio)

thetomska:

okaybro:

ruinedchildhood:

HOWDY Y’ALL

FREE HER

NO, SHE IS IN THERE FOR OUR PROTECTION

thetomska:

okaybro:

ruinedchildhood:

HOWDY Y’ALL

FREE HER

NO, SHE IS IN THERE FOR OUR PROTECTION

rlmjob:

bestlittle1:

rlmjob:

*puts on sexy underwear but accepts the fact that no one will see it*

But knowing daddy bought them is good enough for me.

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lumos5001:

mymomfoundmy:

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No, Because they are nobles in revolution-era France and will be guillotined. 

you must be fun at parties

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

infamousvikas:

i will fight for you

but i will not 

compete for you 

sintire:

click here to enter into a teenage boys mind

sintire:

click here to enter into a teenage boys mind